bear with it if not u bcome the bear

i don't like it actually, i mean SERIOUSLY.
but, again!
that's my choice.
so gotta bear with it.


No one would change because of your words,
just like earth would not stop rotating because of your sadness.

everyone should sealed their lips by now and then,
am not going to say anymore,
of course, you (whoever) can continue the story if you want, as your wish.
:)
peace.

why can't people just leave me alone?
i just about to start my new life,
and this fellow come and disturb.


i mean, i know you are being nice to me,
but, i seriously thinks that it beyonds a friend's limit already lor.
it is a bit OVER & TOO MUCH for me.


hmm...i am not mean,
but, could you please leave me alone.
ngo mm zhong yi lei ahh...

it is always say easier than do.

do not make promise to others
when you have no confident to make it comes true.

:(

seems like i couldn't take it still...
:(

Merry Christmas

i actually don't like people greet me "Merry X'mas" instead of "Merry Christmas".
What is "Xmas" wei? I don't get it.
it suppose to be CHRISTMAS, it is Jesus Christ birthday.
stop greeting me by using "Xmas".


peoples seem do not understand what's the true meaning of Christmas.
Jesus was born on this special day,
as our lovely God Father sent his only child to the world,
to experience our normal human life, spread his gospel.
in order to save all of us, he actually sacrifice himself.
therefore,
Christmas always been a special event for me and my family.


i went to the Christmas eve mass last night,
and i can truly feel that everyone of us is feeling excited,
excited about Jesus Christ birthday but not Holiday,
everyone feel blessed and joy on this special day.
when all of us singing for the song, listening to the Gospel, during the preparation of gift,
i can felt that Jesus Christ was actually there, with us.


:)
Glad to have Jesus Christ in my heart all the time,
as he always shower me with all his love and peace.
- God Bless -

:(

im feeling so hard...

:(

tears nearly fall out...
but it didn't,
because you do not worth for it.

wound

you never know how much i love you...
just like you never know how big is the wound...
:(

but, i believe One Day,
i will definitely find someone that is way BETTER than you.

collapse

im actually having a hard time now.
i have be as natural as i can during the day time,
and i can only remove my poker face during the bed time.
when im hiding myself inside my blanket,
sob-ing quietly.

last night was a no-sleep night
whole body feeling hot and itchy,
thanks to the cat's flea...
now my whole body was full with the red big and itchy spots
dang!


i seriously think that i should let it go and move on,
but, mentally im not willing to do so.
i felt so heart broken and most of it - disappointment.


i experienced this once during the beginning of this year,
when he told me that we most probably will get back together,
when he told me that he still love me,
when he is giving me so much hope...
in the end, he choose to gave up on me and go to her.


i take some times to stand up again,
face him again.
he actually broke up with her before he went back to Adelaide.
And we seems like back to the same old time.
he take care of me, concern about me,
everyone thinks that we will be together, just time matter.


he told me he wont leave me unattended no matter what.
he told me :"you've got me, that's enough".
there is so much things...yet i remembered every single of it.


i kept all these inside my heart,
i kept it nicely and make sure i don't miss any of it,
im waiting patiently,
waiting for the perfect timing to arrive and we will hold our hands tight and walk for the rest of our life.


anyway,
i never expect for 2nd disappointment to hit on me.
again, my heart broke into pieces...
it is messy everywhere and i don't think it can be puzzle it back.
he said sorry...for giving me hope...
he is now actually having crushed on another HER
and he don't want to drag me anymore,
so he GAVE UP on me, once again.
he said he don't want to be unfair to me by treating me as a BACKUP.
he said he is actually taking a risk as well
its either he can get HER or losing both of us.


my tears flooding out when i reading on the text,
i felt like there is millions of needles stabbing on my heart and tearing it into pieces.
i couldn't stand it anymore.
i hardly stand up once again to believe we are meant to be together,
again, you pull me down.
this time, im falling even harder and hurt.
i don't know why are you treating me so mean.
why are you giving up on me so easily when there is another pops out.


when there is no one,
you call, you text, you care...
you needs me to fill up most of your times when there is NO ONE.
and now,
you don't even bother anymore by just sending a bull shit text to me.
if i don't ever ask you in the 1st place,
i think you will just keep quiet...


im telling you,
this time, im so gonna collapse...
i couldnt stand it anymore and i wont want to stand up anymore.
there is always hope but it is not with me.
do not blame me for being pessimism，
it is because you hurt me 2 times in a row.
thanks for your lovely lessons~

tears

i know the limit of myself...
i know i couldn't stand it anymore...
i am collapsing...

relief

i felt much more better after my confession to the father and my holy lord.
I've got sins from the beginning of the year until as at today,
and now im finally sin-free.
been waiting for this moment for so long.


in this world,
you contribute more doesn't mean that you will get back the equal return.
in fact, sometime you don't even get anything back.
once you used to be the contributor,
the taker will just start acted like "take things for granted".


thus, being a contributor,
you must always bear in mind that it is either you take it or leave it kind of thing,
never ever expect return from the taker.
if there is, CONGRATULATION!
if not at all, come back and try again next time.
:)

Let go, Please.

fool

i try my best to keep sadness away from me,
but it seems like :( following me everyday.




thanks for telling me and letting me know that im being a fool all this while.

off

this is the VERY LAST TIME,
i told myself.

_|_

feeling so shitty.

daddy's little girl

i used to be my daddy's little girl
not until i left to Aus and study...
for the one and a half year,
although i don't have my daddy with me
still, i have got my friends with me to take care of me.
i am appreciate and being thankful all the time as i have got so much in my life.
i always reminds myself how lucky i am...
that's why i never compare and compete with the others.

after i graduated and back to my land
i am my daddy's little girl again.
when i got my 1st job which required me to travel down to KL everyday,
daddy is the one who fetched me to KTM everyday in the early morning + free breakfast
for a month...
until i got sick of KTM i decided to drive there...
the 1st day i drove myself down to kl...he called and make sure i reached KL safely
now i got transferred to PJ Asia Jaya...
i am not so sure about the route there...
the day before, he purposely drove and taught me the way to my office
he wants to make sure i know the way...

you see,
i am always my daddy's little girl...
and i love being his little girl...

:(

now i realise...
there is 7 days in a week
and 5 out of 7 days...
i am not feeling happy...
anyone tell me why?

sigh

things got jumbled up everywhere,
and it is not in the order,
it takes me some time to digest and absorb everything.
i think this is all about disappointment

crapalogy

sometime, something, someone...
just makes me feel so irritating.
but, again...
how people behave is totally none of my business.
im not their parents nor whoever that have the right to control how should they behave in the way that i like.
this is THEIR freedom on choosing how they wannabe.


am i judging? Yes! i did.
but i don't think the people do understand me as well.
aren't the people judge on me as well ?
lol
whatever the people says...as if i care LAR!
anyway people,
IGNORE me.
PEACE.

thought

1:07am the time that i spare myself free.
been going out so often recently due to overload events.
money keep going out non-stop. :'(
have to start saving from next month onward
gotta meet my budget at least.

been thinking so much lately
from work to friendship to others.
there is so much to think of
but i tell myself that nothing to be worried.
everything has been arranged by GOD
he wants you to be in that way, you just have to follow
without any question and doubt,
i think i still have lots to learn.

things seem to change rapidly
i can't fully absorb everything into my mind.
i try my best to slow the things down and solve it out
but it doesn't work, at all.
again, make me emo momo.

i think i don't understand anymore
the problem arise from both side
i admit i don't do it well for playing my part,
but at the same time, you guys too.
i don't blame, i learnt to accept and ignore.
if things is gonna to happen there is no point to stop, i tell myself.