i know it's hard,

at least let me know...you've got the "heart" to maintain it.

:'(

if you wants it to be that way,

i will complete it for you.

Bye bye MSN & Skype.

sometime it is not about 'Faith" but about the 'Heart' to maintain it.

why don't you tell me why...

why am i not worth for you to spare me your time at least 50% to me?

22.12.2010
and i just realized that there's such a long time i do not have a proper post for my blog.
i don't know why but i just can't write long...with lotsa pictures attached.
NO! I just can't.
YES! i am lazy.
i would perfer to just jot down some main point here and thats it.
FULL STOP.
simple yet straight forward, i like.


Anyway, the month of December,
the holy joly moly month~
obviously, it meaning that year 2010 is finally comes to an end...
flash back my memory back to Dec 2009,
it has been an awful month for me...
but, im glad that i've gone through all these,
with the help from everyone who care about me.
:)
and *tik tok tik tok*...now its already in December 2010.


after saying goodbye to 31-12-2009
life has been great to me throughout the whole 2010.
i would not says everything went smoothly as i planned,
but at least nothing big on me~!
and i would say i GAIN more than PAIN... :p
so must Thank God !! :)

till then...
下雨天了怎么办，我好想你～

:*(

Goodbye Mr.Bun

Me and Momo miss you much~

18-12-2010

:D
3rd monthsary it is.
I Love You, Baby.
<3

All this time I was wasting
Hoping you would come around
I've been giving out chances every time
And all you do is let me down

And it's taking me this long
Baby but I figured you out
And you're thinking we'll be fine again
But not this time around

Looking so innocent
I might believe you if I didn't know
Could've loved you all my life
If you hadn't left me waiting in the cold

And you got your share of secrets
And I'm tired of being last to know
And now you're asking me to listen
Cause it's worked each time before

You had me falling for you honey
And it never would've gone away, no
You used to shine so bright
But I watched all of it fade

So you don't have to call anymore
I won't pick up the phone
This is the last straw
There's nothing left to beg for

And you can tell me that you're sorry
But I don't believe you baby
Like I did before
You're not sorry, No.

the only thing i wish is to spend more times with you.

:*(

you wouldn't know this is so hard for me,

if can, i really do not want you to leave.

:*(

FAITH is the only word...

and I do have faith in you...

i wish this time god would not turns me down, once again.

yes...
sometimes there's just nothing much you can do,
but to hide it all...

you see me smile and you don't,
you see me cry and you don't.

:(

emo max!

D.E.C.E.M.B.E.R
its always my favorite month throughout the whole year.
probably, not this year.
2 more weeks left.
everything is gonna be okay...i hope.

first wish doesn't come true.
it's okay moku.
it's okay.
it doesn't matter!
no BIG deal, I says to myself...
:*(

I think I'm just not the kind of girl...

I don't mind the words...

I'm not angry too...

=(

I hope I'm doing good enough, at least I think I am.

my self-confidence is not high,

sometimes a few words can easily defeat my only left self-confidence.

that's why I'm a mushroom- who always hide myself in my own comfort zone.

-Good night with peace-

18th November 2010

Oh~ so here it is!
OFFICIAL 2nd monthsary with my Mr.Bun,
=)


but actually i started my day not-so-good.
:(
no one to blame but myself,
being a clumsy blurry mushroom.
should stop day-dreaming and "focus" while driving especially in the "MORNING".


i think it is because of the long holidays,
it causes my mind still not functioning well until "BANG"...
and i realized my front actually stick on ppl's back~
sigh...
luckily the taxi driver is not fierce but...
still gotta pay him money for the repairment fee.
ppl's bumper drop loh...
and mine...minor damage but gotta fix too...
no-good, no-good...


anyhow,
it do not spoil my mood actually~
still a good day for me...i HOPE...
:D
*signing off with peace mood*

you should loves yourself more...

:) OR :(

Don's replacement WANTED...badly!

=)

cool? NO!

When everyone praised themselves how much they love the Lord,
how much they served and in faith with the Lord,
in fact, they didn't.

I gotta admit im doing not good enough,
im not a good believer and i don't act like a one.
maybe i did, but not 100%.

im not a typical holy Catholic,
but i definitely have faith with my Lord.
at least i try not to break the rules, the BIG 1.
i did my confession although i always repeat the same old mistake over and over again.
but Lord did showed his mercy on me and im feeling blessed all the times.

Well,
i never said that whoever have a tattoo at the body is BAD,
but, i dont think it's good to hurt yourself like this.
i mean,
you may find it really COOL and YENG and OUTSTANDING,
then you eager to get 1.

so what if i say,
i find abortion very cool also,
does it mean that i can go and do abortion as well?
dont come and tell me thats a different story,
it's the SAME!
Killing innocent life and hurting yourself is the same.
your mom gave birth and life to you and now you want to hurt yourself like this,
can you imagine how a mother feel when she actually saw it?

okay,
i am cool with it.
its up to you to do whatever you like.

-peace-

62 days

=)

i don't know why, but somehow it happened.
suffering menstrual pain while im actually kao tim my period week ago...
wtf lor...
and i hardly sleep at night thanks to my stomach cramps.
the funniest part is...it cramp only on the left hand side.
i wonder how and i wonder why~
not happy with it!
:(




i wish i can be more healthy,
it seems so hard to me.
:(
im not weak,
im just unhealthy.

hmm...

it's okay moku...

its okay...

=(

IMYDD~

used to stay home all the times with my brother,
ever since im in a relationship,
he seldom see me at home.
=(
i feel so sorry to him and i wish i could spare more times with him.
i just want you to know,
i love you, brother~
=D

idk whether im a good girlfriend or not,
but,
i always try my best to think of "what can i do to make you happy".
=)
im glad that you appreciate what i've done for you.
i do not want to see you sad.
i just want you to know,
you're my precious and i will try my best to cherish every moment with you every now and then.
baby, i love you.




-peace-

hmm...

i think im just being a-bit "over-sensitive" on this "issue".

of course i know he did not mean to say it.

should not take it too serious,

it's over! i tells myself.

:(

-peace-

believe it or not

i think im sad.
NO!
Disappointed, i would say.


BUT, im not losing my mind and im steady in my purpose.


I once told you,
i believe in you,
and i will always be.

am actually feeling heart-ache,

when i see you grievance yourself to change.

ILY.

knowing too much is always NO-GOOD, 不好，TAK BAIK, BOH HOR, MM HAO...
=(
i would prefer i know nothing at all at the 1st point,
so, there gone my curiosity...
and now i ends up with TOO MANY...
i think i need some times to absorb everything of it.

i wish i could ask,

but i would prefer you come and tell me rather than i have to ask it myself.

am i comparing?

i think i am.

that's why im not happy.

-peace-

this is so-not-good.

already used to have him with me most of the times,

the day without his appearance is coming real soon.
:(

it's mid of Oct already,

time, you such a bitch.

:(

♥

I once told u,

'You're the one I love most,
and YOU will always be.'

=)

Oh her eyes
Make the stars look like they're not shining
Her hair
Falls perfectly without her trying

She's so beautiful
And I tell her every day

Yeah I know
When I compliment her
She wont believe me
And its so
Sad to think she don't see what I see

But every time she asks me do I look okay
I say

When I see your face
There's not a thing that I would change
Cause you're amazing
Just the way you are
And when you smile,
The whole world stops and stares for awhile
Cause girl you're amazing
Just the way you are

Her nails
I could kiss them all day if she'd let me
Her laugh
She hates but I think its so sexy

She's so beautiful
And I tell her every day

Oh you know
Id never ask you to change
If perfect is what you're searching for
Then just stay the same

So don't even bother asking
If you look okay
You know I say

When I see your face
There's not a thing that I would change
Cause you're amazing
Just the way you are
And when you smile,
The whole world stops and stares for awhile
Cause girl you're amazing
Just the way you are




sweet enough to melt every girls, i would say.
it would be perfect if the bfs have the exactly same thought over their gfs as per the lyric.
so, there will no more fighting but LOVE-Peace.
=)

bear with it if not u bcome the bear

i don't like it actually, i mean SERIOUSLY.
but, again!
that's my choice.
so gotta bear with it.


No one would change because of your words,
just like earth would not stop rotating because of your sadness.

When you say nothing at all

am i demanding?
i dont know, you tell me!
all i wants is just a text to tell me...
so i wont be waiting there like a silly.

=x

:D

Hey Soul Sista...

Happy 20th birthday to you~

:)

Glad to have you by my side all the times~

you've company me gone through the ups & downs.

Thanks for being by my side, always!

Love you deep deep!!

October Fest...

Yes! It's October now~!
time flies...and my lil soul sis is back to the town for a week ALREADY!
BUT, she is flying back to Adelaide on 11th October... =(
dont even have enough times to spend with her!
Father is sweet enough to buy sissy ticket fly back from Adl to KL just to SURPRISE me!
On my birthday eve dinner!
nothing much to say but a BIG THANK YOU to my father!
you are the greatest gift i ever had in my life!
=D


HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THE BORTHER~
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THE "HEY SOUL SISTER"~

month

oh well...

03102010
Monthsary it is... =)
the bf is so cute and "sweet" enough to ask me for the "date".
(he cannot remember actually and he actually asked on the day before! GOOD TIMING)
actually we're officially in a relationship on the 18th Sept,
my perception towards 'officially' meaning the day he ask me to become his gf and i agree on it.
BUT since he ask me for the date on "Velvet" night,
so i suppose that night should be the "DAY" for him~
im fine with either 1 actually as long as its the "DAY" for "US".


my ladies is showing their concern on my newly relationship
i felt sweet because i know they are really HAPPY for me.
i would say...HE is good!
i mean...he is treating me good enough!
but of course, there's still some little tiny issues hidden inside which im not pointing out here.
but, i believe everything its gonna be alright..i hope so...
so, don;t worry my ladies.


Mom is worried.
she said the BF's "face" is somehow quite good looking and that's why it makes me and my mom feeling so unsecured! tsk tsk tsk...
not only my mom said that but Valerie too...hmm hmm...
LOL
also, from the day we met until we get into relationship...
everything is too FAST!
and i think i am falling not only too fast BUT deep enough as well...
Obviously, i understand her concern.
i mean no one would like to see me COLLAPSE once again.
that memories is way too awful and pain...
until i would not want to recall it anymore.
and its actually slowly deleted from my brain...bit by bit...



time proves everything!
there's no point to make promises or say whatever bullshit words here.
let the time tells!
we will see... =)


I LOVE YOU BABY.

(i know you will never see it...and i dont plan to let u know as well! this is my only comfort zone where i can say everything out loud here! without any constraint! =p)

18-09-2010

a day to remember~

:)

i'm no longer alone.

dilemma...

i wish you can come in front of me and hold my hands tight.






p/s: am hanging myself middle of no where~

uhm...
guess it's time to back in action,
after so long...


used to rely on this place so much,
used to forcing myself not to share and talk,
so,
here's the only place i can dump everything.
used to be in my own comfort zone for quite some times.
used to be so pessimistic.
used to be not believe in ANY thing...ANYmore.


but i guess we do learn from mistakes. aren't we?
we should always thanks the one who hurt you.
because without 'em you will never learn,
they were the one who make u grow stronger,
they are the one who teach u a lesson,
remind you not to be so naive and silly.


we used to assumed we've found "the right one" and we always think that...
THE ONE IS SO DAMN PERFECT, NO ONE WOULD BE PERFECT THAN HIM/HER.
BUT,
NO! They are just like another fucking piece from the SOB category.


you learn from your fall.
i thought i will never stand up again by myself,
bet am always looked down upon my capabilities.
indeed, im stronger than anyone else out there.


it's not about forgive or forget anymore...
it's about let go and move on!


and, im actually typing this with a smiling face.
=)

now i realise...i finally got the guts to open your FB page with a smiley face.

i think i had get rid over it...FINALLY~ =)

=)

you made my day~!

I miss you like crazy

27.08.2008

you left me without saying Goodbye.
my heart is aching...
i couldn't think,
i couldn't breath,
i couldn't talk,
right at the moment!


I came back to you, immediately.
im actually feeling hesitant to step into the house...
my leg is shaking and i couldn't move single step of it...
when i look into the house...i see your beautiful picture at the center of the entrance...
as i walked further in and stand right beside you...
im pissed,
im mad...because i couldn't touch you.
the cover is like a firewall blocking in between US.
i can't stop my tears...
i have got so much to share with you...
i have not show you my Certificate...
i have not tell you my oversea stories...
there is so much i have not tell you...

i know you were relieve...
i know you were in peace...
i know you know that im there...talking to you...

2 years from the day you left me...
and i miss you so much...

*Lord...please do hear my prayer...* :(

18.07.10

sending u off at KLIA

feeling so unwilling to part

but, still i have to let go my hand & let you go.

it's the time, i told myself.

to let my little over-pampered princess to get out of our protection circle.

learn to be more independent and tough.

i know she will not disappoint me!

i can assure that! because she is my "hey soul sista".

we've just separated for 3 hours plus but im already miss you like KRAZY!!

:(

i miss you so much...Qooi.

am i sad?

i think i am sad.

:(

was taking a day off today.

initially was because of i've got this aptitude test with IBM,

and im actually taking MC instead of AL, so in the end i would have to go for doctor.

LOL!

anyhow, in the end the doctor actually ask me to go for this consultant Neurologist for a proper check-up.

oh well, i have got so many check-up awaiting for me.

the eye and now this > Neurologist.

btw,

passed the test and i actually went for the 1st and 2nd interview already.

basically i did the test and attended both interviews in 1 day.

what am have to do now is wait for their news patiently.

=/

hmm...got no idea there is how high the chances i would get,

but, atleast i have tried my best.

brother actually dont understand why am i never stop job hunting.

indeed, i would like to stop if i can really get something that i really want,

but till now, sadly to say that there is none of it can meets my expectation.

human tends to be greedy, we always look for something better...isnt it?

phew...is dead tired now!

shall knock off and have a good rest.

deleted

i realize i could actually put it down.
i realize i could even live better without you.
and you've completely deleted from my memories, NOW.
=)

you did it once = silly,
you did it twice = stupid...
never ever go for the third and forth times...it will equal to HURT.

31.12.2009
a day to remember.
i always remind myself that i will only allow to do that for ONCE.
let bygones be bygones...
i should ink this statement inside my brain,
so that it will stay forever there to keeps me remind.

:(

idk why my laptop battery is not charging when i connect it with the power adapter.

sigh...dont tell me that the battery Gone Case if not im going GG.

btw...BIG CLAP for Slovakia...

Italy got defeated by Slovakia...can you believe it?

but "dai sei" lahh Italy!

-peace-

爱最痛的呼喊 是不能够再重来
多年后 我却牢牢记在脑海
幸福再来 我依然会充满期待
找回爱最初的幸福港湾

Wednesday, 9:51am

am now sitting at my working desk and typing on this.
don't ask why I am always free in the morning because idk why.
am actually having endless rotation within the team itself.
take it positively, it's good as i could learn up most of the functions,
the only bad thing i could think of is that i have not been assign on any daily work yet and the paid is low...
therefore, everyday when i come into work i will just have to sit on my desk and wait for them to pass me work.
:(


counting down...till the day i can fly away without any constraints.

可以伪装，

其实已经放下。

可以伪装，

不再介怀，豁达面对

可以伪装，

其实并不是在伪装。

你，懂吗？

p/s：你不是真正的快乐

there is so many things happened without reason...

we failed to figure out whether what's right or what's wrong.

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion,

we cannot force anyone or ourselves to accept another.

now, you tell me...

am i right?

my twin sister and i is so addicted to FIFA World Cup.

the photo taken when we sipping on beer at W cafe and waiting for the match!

:D joyful moment but she will be leaving me soon to Aussie.

:( will definitely miss her like crazy!!!!!

FIFA World Cup, here it is.

long awaited i would say.

im not really a football fans but World Cup is a MUST to me.

enjoying the time watching matches with the peeps and siblings...

shouting at the tv, finger pointing on the players...

4 years after, World Cup fever back to the town!

:D

say HI to FABREGAS~

Greeting!

the last week on the Month of May is simply AWESOME!

Long awaited long weekends holiday is finally here.

:D

wast resting at home chillex myself on the Friday...

having dramas marathon start from the noon until the midnight.

woke up pretty early this morning and went for my hairdo.

feeling good as well because i simply in love with my new hair color.

*lovely*
FYI...

i DYED my hair.

okay...okay...

those who know me well should know that i dont dye my hair,

not even once for the past 22 years but...

i DYE my hair TODAY, this morning.

Its just the right timing to do some changes...

signing off with library mode...

-peace-

NO PAIN NO GAIN

take it or leave it...
that's the only sentence i can tell myself.

im placing bet once again,
perhaps i dont place it wrongly this time.
God bless me please.

they once told me that Good luck will comes right after your bad lucks,
God is Fair enough to all his sons and daughters.
if he choose to close down your window,
he will definitely open another door for you.
i always believes in this with no doubt.
although it seems like it never happen on me,
but still i choose to believe on this statement so that i can live my life better.


compare is not good i would say,
but no compare means no improvement.
but, it's hard to not compare because this is human nature,
no matter how good friend we are, how close we are with the family members...
still we COMPARE.


all this while,
i don't think im a good student,
i don't think im good in my studies but at least i completed my degree,
even faster than some of my friends...but, so what?
i got a job right after my convo...but, so what?
i don't see any add-on values in my life.


after all, i find myself stucked.
i thought it will be a brand new life for me,
at least something different and better,
in fact, it's not.
and i feel ashamed on myself...


im not perfect, indeed a lot more to improve.
for my parents,
i am always driven by my emotion and mood swing like hell.
im not good in handling issue and problem solving because i don't share.
i always thinks that i could handle it myself but in fact, NO.
for my brother,
he always think that im spoiled.
for my sister,
im not being patient enough and im not willing to share.


Father,
-no matter how good i am,
-how well i improve myself in everything,
(everything that you mentioned before i actually put it inside my heart and try my best to change it for you, e.g. my attitude)
-always observe good manners to improve my courtesy, e.g. table manners (as you requested)
-being elegant and aristocratic in front of everyone so that you are proud to bring me out on every outings...
-being helpful and considerate...
still, im always not good enough.
your requirement on me is way too high and i dont think i can achieve it.


i admit im stubborn for some times, on something...
i dont pour everything out when im facing problem or issue.
there is once, this people told me...
i shouldn't be too relying or dependent on somebody else,
indeed, should learn to be more tough & independent so that in future we need not to BEG for any helps on anyone else.
in fact, its so darn true.
that is why i don't share much nowadays as i believe im capable to handle all this by my own.
but, at the same time,
keeping too much on yourself is torturing.
it's just like a bomb and its timed to explode anytime, anywhere.


what a super emo long post for today.
i shall sign off before my depression mode is officially ON...
-peace-

i can let go,

but it doesn't mean i can Forgive and Forget.

Lord says: we must always learn to forgive instead of hating.

at least for now,

i dont think i can be until that extent...

im still learning...

therefore,

forgive me for my mood swing.

-peace-

not healthy

went for Medical check-up this morning,

gotta do for urine & blood test, X-Ray and some other test...

same old problem as my prediction.

eye sight super bad, low blood pressure, skin prob...

i hope there is no any other hidden 1 would appears in my report.

*finger cross*

at the same time,

bebe is having sterilization operation now at the clinic.

:(

feel sorry to him as i promised will send him there by myself.

but i believe bebe is STRONG enough to face all this by himself...

-peace-

BABY's Birthday Celebration

Advance birthday celebration for my Baby Winnie,
as she will be away from town and go for a sweet escape with the BF on her actual birthday.
The initial plan is supposed to be a SURPRISE celebration for her,
thus Li-wei is busy sending out invitation text to the fellow friends regards on this plan on last week,
as we needed confirmation asap to proceed with the restaurant reservation.
Party turned out pretty GOOD actually, just that the so-called SURPRISE party was no longer surprise...

it was ruined in the LAST MINUTE due to mis-communication problem i would say. :)
there gone our hard work and effort,
but still, it's glad that everyone are able to make it to the dinner celebration.
it turns out another awesome night for all of us.
:D






















Baby, I hope you ENJOY.
I *L-O-V-E* YOU to the M-A-X!!!




p/s: babe, i hope everything is alright with you now. :( never knew this will happen.

做朋友，终究还是得要有个界线
一旦跨越了那最后一道防线
就会变得什么都不是了。

环绕在身边的，
全部都是被我视为最要好的朋友。
是他们陪我熬过我最难过，无助的时间
真心相信，无私的陪伴，无限制的依赖
真心的把你们当着是可以一起渡生死和过难关的朋友，

只是一旦感觉开始在你的心里掀起一般涟漪时，
就代表是时候结束这不必要的误会和麻烦。
不喜欢越过界线的感觉，
朋友就是朋友，点到为止

当你一超过我设下的防线，
也就代表我们会逐渐疏远，
我要省却不必要的麻烦。



Friends, be aware of the boundaries.
-peace-

=(

its been awhile...

for not going eye check-up.

suppose do it once a year but ever since last year i didnt show up anymore.

doctor 1st told me it does not matter as the black dot dont grow,

not until the last check-up,

he actually told me that it getting slightly bigger,

its time to arrange for operation...

but i drag it until now, and recently i realized my eye sight getting worse..

so i bet its time to go for a check up already.

*phew* feeling sick of all these...

what about the skin...what about the eye..what about the ear?

too much activities in a week,

i think my body couldn't stand for it anymore.

insufficient sleep -> exhausted -> fainted

craps!

your words.

"wait until one day your words does not show any anger feeling on it then only you can say you are totally out of this" (To Cwl, 2010)

haahaaahaaa...
just wanted to show off only is it, BITCH?
funny ass.
hmph.

ARGGHHH!!
stress my ass out!!
exam is just around the corner yet i have not prepare a single bit of it yet im still procrastinating!
i am so going to dead this time!!!
*finger cross*

don't make promise when you are in JOY,
don't reply when you are SAD,
don't take decision when you are ANGRY.

GOSH!
the seminar is killing me!
ton of works and uncountable presentations.
outdoor activities was fun yet it killing me as well.
it is farking stress-out to work with the Singaporean. (no offense)
i prefer the Philippians, they are super friendly compare to the kia-su peoples.
China peoples' slang is too strong to me, no comment.
anyhow, 1 more day to go.
and i MISS HOME badly... :(

not to see,
not to hear,
not to care...is the best way to stop me thinking about it.
it is actually okay for me already,
yet...it still hurts.
fuck it and i dont think F.o.r.g.i.v.e is okay for me at this point of time.


disgusting.

Monday

Bon Jour~
8.51am am not sitting in front of my working desk.
Feeling so unwillingly to start my job,
But, there is a lot of pending jobs waiting me to accomplish.
Issues coming in everyday, it is endless.
Sick of doing the same task over and over again,
It actually frustrated me,
How I wish I could run away…

Erina was enjoying her holiday in Adelaide.
I am so wanted to be like her, at least get myself a long holiday to rest and relax.
Although I am heading to Japan soon, yet I feel unsecured.
I don’t think I can fully enjoy my trip as there is too much inside my mind.
I will have to face the same problem after the trip that is why I am feeling uncomfortable.
I don’t have a nice sleep on last night, yet I don’t know what keeps bothering me.

I had a great wine night with my ladies on Saturday night.
We shared everything…
From career > friendship > love > e.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g
I am feeling pleasant to have all of them with me all the times.
At least, their support is kind of power to keep me moving on.

I know, I don’t really speak out everything that’s actually hidden inside my mind,
It is not that I don’t want to share,
just that I might need some times to digest it myself 1st,
then I will split everything out.
I am lucky that all of you is being so considerate all the time,
I truly appreciate it.

Till then,
Goodbye.

as what i said...
things tend to happen whenever, wherever so long the timing is right,
*POP* it happened. :)

Japan on the coming Thursday,
sweet escape for a week.
after Japan, will immediately off to Bangkok for a Seminar.
the schedule is pack and FYI, i only have 3.5 days left for my ANNUAL LEAVE.
FML.

GOD BLESS ME!!

Life is like a roller coaster and there is always ups and downs... we never know what's exactly waiting ahead for us.
I have been feeling so depress and stressed out for the past few weeks,
In simple word, mood swing like hell.
It is actually nothing big happen but those minors 1,
It accumulates and happened all in the same time, it leads to a burst.
Sometime, I would think what does lord want from me?

Learn from the lesson?
Being forgive and forget?
Being more strong and tough?

I take every incident as a lesson and keep it in mind, so that in future I won’t repeat the same mistake again.
Things happen tend to be good and bad, both side.
Whatever it is, we human always see the bad side but ignore the good side,
To be honest, I will only think on the bad and this is why am I been living my life so stressed out.
If I am willing to open my eye wider, bigger and try to witness myself, If I am able to open my ear and listen to everyone but not only the selected one,
Then, I might be able to understand the whole story hidden beneath or the reason why and it might leads to a change of my thought or perspective on it.

im confuse, do I know what I really want?
I thought I know myself well all this while,
In fact, I am not.
How hilarious it is.

:(
what a day...
i would say i have been awarded the most UNLUCKY person for this week.

what do you want from me?


*BIG SIGH*

hmm...
what can i say anymore.
3 accidents within a month .
My brother > me > my lil sis.
fucked up.


im glad that you're fine.
what done is done, as long as you're safe...
we love you much...

sometime,
i wish lord did hear my prayer.
i am not greedy,
i am not asking for everything.
but, can you please granted me this...the one i desire the most.
-sinking-

sometime it is not about the sharing,
but about where and how to start the story.
it is not easy to say it out...
thats why i needed alcohol to hunt me down,
so that my brain will finally have time to stop functioning for awhile,
and have a good deep rest.
=/


i dont know,
but, i felt better now.

throughout my life...
the thing i hate the most is....people never believe on me!!
it really pissed me off.

wondering why there is so many foreign visitors nowadays...
i was thinking is my Feed live problem or blogspot problem...
anyway, it is another day...
shall hop on bed and sleep as i gotta wake up early LATER!!
:) good night

champagne party last night is superb awesome!
Anyway, sorry Shian for not going zouk to meet up with ya,
and at the same time Val has been dragged to my house and she ENJOYED the most.
;p
phew...should recharge my energy now...
velvet tomorrow...

s m i l e

You´re better then the best
I´m lucky just to linger in your light
Cooler then the flip side of my pillow that´s right
Completely unaware
Nothing can compare to where you send me
Lets me know that it´s ok yeah it´s ok
And the moments where my good times start to fade

You make me smile like the sun
Fall out of bed sing like bird
Dizzy in my head spin like a record
Crazy on a Sunday night
You make me dance like a fool
Forget how to breathe
Shine like gold buzz like a bee
Just the thought of you can drive me wild
Ohh you make me smile

Even when you´re gone
Somehow you come along
Just like a flower poking through the sidewalk crack and just like that
You steal away the rain and just like that

You make me smile like the sun
Fall out of bed sing like bird
Dizzy in my head spin like a record
Crazy on a Sunday night
You make me dance like a fool
Forget how to breathe
Shine like gold buzz like a bee
Just the thought of you can drive me wild
Ohh you make me smile

Don´t know how I lived without you
Cuz everytime that I get around you
I see the best of me inside your eyes
You make me smile
You make me dance like a fool
Forget how to breathe
Shine like gold buzz like a bee
Just the thought of you can drive me wild

You make me smile like the sun
Fall out of bed sing like bird
Dizzy in my head spin like a record
Crazy on a Sunday night
You make me dance like a fool
Forget how to breathe
Shine like gold buzz like a bee
Just the thought of you can drive me wild
Ohh you make me smile

please stop it...
indeed, i should feel grateful, but why is it...
God, perhaps you should bring me somewhere i belongs to...
before i lose control on myself again...i can feel it coming to me
it is so fast and unresistant...i dont think i can stand till the last...
because i have got no strength to stay it here anymore...
please bring me go...

i don't think apologize is hard once you get used to it...

feeling indescribable and sucky......

indeed, i thought you know me well,
and i suppose you did.
i hope my assumption is wrong,
but i doubt...because am not sure are you still the one i know back then...



i should glad that the distance and gap between us is getting far and wider...

*amendment

when a friend trying so hard to find any excuses to reject your invitation,
it is actually a hint asking you to get out of their life.
:)


*lip sealed & hands locked*

i don't want to create any unnecessary misunderstanding.
i apologize for that,
as i am not good in writing or expressing my thought and opinion,
some time the words i use might be a bit straight or harsh.
anyway, sorry and -end-

people like you do not deserve any respect from others.

it isn't easy.
how much strength i have to put on myself, before i decided to face 'em.
it is just not easy.

you could do it once,
but not twice,
forgiveness no longer shows.
ESPECIALLY when you acted you did nothing wrong infront of people,


p/s: no one will be the only mercy 1, it is always contributed and sacrifices by both side. :)

he said he wanna date me out for movie,
he said he want my phone no.
he said he wanna call me baby,
he said he wanna bring me go Brunei.

i says wtf in return to him.

love is not about showing off,
true love doesnt need to say anything and people will witness it by themselves.

:)

I acted tough,

but I was just a coward pretending I wasn't interested.
And yet,that only increased the pain stabbing at my heart.

Ah, I see, so this must be what it's like to fall in love.


Credit to you, Hola. (you tau i tau, mereka tak tau)

New Year Eve

the last day of 2009,
instead of squeezing with peoples at the mall,
we choose to throw a home party at my house.
peoples boozing at my house,
from Red Winie, to beer, Swing to Henessy...
although, there is something happened that spoils the party a lil bit,
but overall we still had fun.
:)

everyone should sealed their lips by now and then,
am not going to say anymore,
of course, you (whoever) can continue the story if you want, as your wish.
:)
peace.

why can't people just leave me alone?
i just about to start my new life,
and this fellow come and disturb.


i mean, i know you are being nice to me,
but, i seriously thinks that it beyonds a friend's limit already lor.
it is a bit OVER & TOO MUCH for me.


hmm...i am not mean,
but, could you please leave me alone.
ngo mm zhong yi lei ahh...

Brand new day

After last night,
i realize that its time to stop it.
for myself and you all.
i know they are feeling sad when they actually see me like this.
im sorry, and i promise i will NEVER EVER do it again.
:)